Ok, this may not be entirely true or even focused but sometimes I wonder what would happen if all dudes actually did start treating women badly. The only people who believe that ALL men are dogs are the single ones who refuse to look in the mirror and address their own faults before trying to accept someone elses', OR, the ones who refuse to look outside of their initial preference of men to open themselves up to a different type of dude. It is my belief that a dude who is considered a "nice guy" truly does finish last when it comes to women. I think women like to walk some sort of fine line between a dude who put them in their place and one who slaps them in their place. It sort of seems counter-intuitive for a woman to like a bad-boy but not want him to do bad-boy things towards her, just everyone else. In theory, it sounds good but its very hard to achieve. Its a biological fact for a girl to be attracted to a man who she feels that can protect and provide. It's hard wired. But this wiring can be overridden. Likewise, men are hardwired to reproduce frequently with as many females as possible. But not every man cheats. Ladies, I know there are a lot of double standards in the world that don't necessarily work in a woman's favor. But why not work to try and change the one you can control. Stop telling these men that you want a bad-boy. We don't know what the hell that is. Moreso, understand what It means to want a bad-boy. If that's what you like then fine, but try not to just limit yourself to only the guys who convey that bad-boy quality explicitly, usually they are compensating. Instead, try and consider it as a secondary trait and look for someone who is genuine, driven, and focused first.... who happens to have a healthy amount of "thug" in him.
After all, Nice guys give love too!!
oh so very true. totally agree. i also feel like most of the time we want something that doesn't and probably will never exist. so when we meet a "nice" guy we look past him cuz it comes too easy. instead we cry, fight, and complain about the "bad-boy" that we are basically trying to turn into our version of the perfect guy. if someone had a cure or remedy for this madness they would definately be the richest person on earth. #imjustsaying
ReplyDeleteRight, I'mma get working on the antedote asap!! no but seriously, its frustrating on both sides. Nice guy is negatively reinforced into believeing that he can't compete unless he becomes something he isn't. Women, on the other hand, are frustrated because their relationships which are built on a lofty, sub-concious ideal reach a plateau of satisfaction very quickly and they don't know how to climb back down from it. Meanwhile, the bad-boy is winning because he can comfortably be an asshole with no competition. We've got to level the playing field. It makes it better for everyone... Even the bad-boys.
ReplyDeletesometimes i think that we "females" want to feel needed/wanted even tho we want someone who can be that "provider". typically the nice guys have everything together so it seems like there is no need for us unlike a bad boy who kinda becomes our little project...
ReplyDeleteWell I've dated both and this is what I've learned...women base everything on risk. The bad boy, although inevitably prone to hurt us, is a sure thing. It is something we can prepare for. When u date a bad boy, its like boarding up windows before a storm. The good guy, on the other hand, is much more risky. Its like the forecast of a storm but u have no time to prepare. So even though it seems like a no brainer to choose the good guy, in a woman's twisted and cowardess mind, the bad boy is our choice through and through.
ReplyDeleteHowever, and this is a BIG however, once u stop basing decisions on risk and learn to be vulnerable...u will experience things with a good guy that will make u regret not risking it all along. Believe me....I got me a good guy....and he's alllllllll good =)
True, this is why women are so much more analytical. Notice how I didn't say logical. You can definitely analyze without an ounce of logic. Matter of fact, a vast majority of human analytical reasoning is highly illogical. It's just another fact of human evolution. Men are more inclined to just jump in and face the consequences as they arise. Coincidentally, in relationships this method has a higher success rate. Now in other aspects of life? No so much. I just find it extremely ironic that the main thing that women live for is the thing they are the absolute worst at.
ReplyDelete"A woman's life is love, a man's love is life." -Slum Village